Following up on his presentation of an ideal of human relationships, in Nicomachean Ethics VIII.6-8 Aristotle starts to investigate some of the variables that lead to less than ideal outcomes. Because ideally love and friendship in all their many forms entails a kind of equality, one of these variables is inequality between the two people involved, with respect to common attributes such as wealth, power, social class, fame, beauty, etc. As a modern example, consider the employees of a large corporation: it's highly unlikely, perhaps even unheard of, that the CEO will have a close relationship with the guy in the mailroom; the power gap is simply too wide. Or, to take the example that Aristotle uses, a ruler who is blessed with great wealth, absolute power, noble birth, and good looks usually surrounds himself with those who are useful (henchmen and servants and the like) and those who are pleasant (flatterers and entertainers and the like), but not with people of excellent character who take life seriously. Indeed, although the seriously good person is inherently both useful and enjoyable, such a person is not inclined to befriend a ruler unless the ruler is also superior in virtue, and that doesn't happen often.
Aristotle then extends this line of thinking to other relationships that, at least in the patriarchal society of ancient Greece, involved less drastic yet still significant forms of inequality: father and son, parent and child, husband and wife, etc. Yet he suggests a way in which these relationships can be equalized: not in the love accorded to a person because of that person's role (e.g., a parent naturally deserves more love than a child, since the parent is the source of the child's very being), but in the activity [energeia] of loving [philein]. It is in this activity that the excellence [aretē] of love resides, not in passively receiving love. Furthermore, this kind of equality is more long-lasting [monimos] and humane [epieikēs], since it is based on stable character traits rather than relatively ephemeral qualities of usefulness and enjoyment. Here again, as throughout Aristotle's reflections on things human, giving trumps receiving, creating trumps using, and activity trumps passivity. We'll see more implications of this principle as we walk along through the remainder of the Nicomachean Ethics.
(Cross-posted at philosopher.coach.)
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