While corresponding recently with a friend of Elisa's about the celebration of life I'm planning, I happened to formulate the following phrase: "the best way to grieve is to give". Although I doubt that's a universal truth, it's been true to my own experience since Elisa's passing in February. For the first few months everything looked very dark, but slowly I started to engage more with the world - volunteering in my community, fulfilling my responsibilities as president of my neighborhood association, helping friends and family members in need, and making a few beautiful commitments that I won't talk about here because they are private acts of deep personal significance. Many sources of solace have helped me cope, but I've found that giving love to people I care about is especially effective. It's all too easy to ruminate about my situation and wallow in my emotions; by contrast, giving has not only gotten me out of my own head but has also helped me redefine my identity and gain greater self-knowledge about who I am and who I want to be in the final third of my life. Thus I plan to keep on giving as I venture forward into my future.
(Cross-posted at Beautiful Wisdom.)
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